A Random Thought ~
With a big weight was lifted from our shoulders this week. I spent the day trying to toss off a little of that huge stress I’ve carried on my shoulders for these long months of desperation and anxiety.
I spent the morning doing my daily routine and got my work done. The did my usual checking for work and submitting applications. After getting up at 4:30am because it was obvious the insomnia wasn’t going to let me go back to sleep, 6 hours of working seemed like it more than enough for today. So by 10:30 it was time to escape from the world and dream a little.
That took me to Pinterest, where I found this beautiful Victorian Home in Alameda California. It’s absolutely gorgeous. The kind of house I’ve always dreamed of and would love to live in. That got me thinking about my house, my dream house.
My wrap around porch sold me on this house. With the idea of remodeling it little by little over time to change it from the Cape Cod design to a Victorian with a gazebo porch on one side. Along with the turret room on one side of the house, and a matching gazebo porch on the other on the 2nd floor.
A house is a house and it can be beautiful inside and out, but it’s not a home until you fill it with emotions. Not any emotion will do however. A real home is filled with love, laughter and the things that make you feel safe and secure.
My dream home has the love. The laughter is hard to come by in these days of struggle and stress. But it hasn’t completely vanished. The “things” that make me feel safe aren’t really material items. Rather it’s the strength of my man, knowing he’s here to protect us and care for us. The security is something we’re lacking on a deep level. And that’s primarily because of the uncertainty of knowing if we’re going to be able to stay here. Have we saved our home? I don’t know, but I have a little hope back that was lost over the past few weeks.
As I was thinking about our home and what I might like to remodel and change, I caught this on Pinterest. That is what I would like to turn my little Cape Cod into. It has the large gazebo porch on the right, with the matching porch on the second floor on the left.
The main difference with this one, is it has 3 floors and I only have two. Which I’m fine with. But adding a third floor wouldn’t be a bad idea. Only if I did that, it would have to have a different roof to include large windows on both sides of the house. I’m all about the windows!
I look at this house and I see a show place. A lovely cared for building, a well kept yard and an attention to detail. But all that beauty doesn’t make this house a home. That can only come from those within its doors. I wonder if it’s a real home to those who live here. I hope so. I don’t wish what we’re going through on anyone!
Today for the first time in many months, I felt relieved. I felt like we finally reached the bottom of the pit. And more importantly we’re finally on the long climb back out of it. I certainly hope so anyway. I really would like to be here in December, when my Man and I will celebrate our 10th Anniversary. So I’m lighting candles, saying prayers and putting my wish in for a prosperous harvest season! May we all be blessed with financial abundance this month!